The questions of Jesus, "Who do the people say that I am and who do you say that I am", in our Gospel according to Luke 9: 18-24 are questions which touch the very core of one's existence and essence.
I say such questions are questions of existence and essence because they require an answer wherein the subject "I" and the verb "am" need a predicate which affirms that the subject exists and the nature of the said subject is revealed.
So when asked, "Who am I?" I answer, "I am Jude Rebaldo." In my answer, "I am" which is obviously in the present tense means "I exist here and now". If I use the past tense "I were" then I cease to exist. And if I use the future tense "I will be" this connotes that somehow something is not in existence yet. Thus such question "Who am I?" deals with one's existence.
Moreover, in my answer, "I am Jude Rebaldo," it also reveals my essence that I am a particular individual who is conscious of my existence. In my answer, I do not reveal what I have or what I do but who I am. To explain this in other words, you can love me because of what I have i.e., "I am rich" or you can love me because of what I do i.e., "I am kind and generous." How about if I do not have something? How about if I cannot do any thing? How about if I am not rich or I am not kind and generous, can you still love me? Yes! You can love me as I am. Thus such question "Who am I?" also deals with one's essence as a particular conscious individual being.
Now, in our Gospel, when Jesus asked, "Who do the people say that I am and who do you say that I am", remember they are questions first on existence and then on essence.
In their answers to these questions, both the people and the disciples testified the existence of Jesus as true and valid. Both confirmed that Jesus exists. However, with regard to the question on essence, only Peter in behalf of the disciples gave the right answer as he knew the essence or nature of Jesus i.e., Jesus is the messiah of God.
From these answers of the people as well as of the disciples, we can have two propositions:
1. That one's existence is affirmed by others.
2. That said existence brings meaning to the existence of the other.
These two propositions are real and true to Jesus As He Himself declared that He exists in the world of the people and of His disciples saying, "The Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised." Furthermore, Jesus Himself is conscious of His essence so as to how He lives as a messiah saying, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."
In short, Jesus does not exist for nothing. He exists to give meaning (essence) to the existence of others. We should realize and recognize these in our life too that we do not exist for nothing and our existence must bring meaning to the existence of others. These could serve as our guiding principles in life.
To end, let me share an experience so as to explain further what I have just said. In 1998, while I was a seminarian at St. Joseph Regional Seminary, our Spiritual Director Fr. Gerry Alminaza (who is now a bishop) once asked me about my rough and tough attitude. He asked me if my attitude is that of a good father being a priest someday. Then he asked me of the image of my father. To my surprise, I could not give him some answers about the image of my father. I could not even have a picture of my father even in my mind. I told Fr. Gerry that my father died when I was in grade three. He then explained the suffering caused by losing a loved one. He said that sometimes when we remember our loved one who died, there is this feeling of sadness or pain attached to it. In order to avoid such sad feeling, our body system shuts off any memory connected to our loved one who died. (I understood this as no memory, no pain principle.)
In order to remember the image of my father, I went home and visited my father's grave. As I lighted a candle and prayed for his soul, a memory about my father flashed into my mind. My memory of him brought me back to the days when I was young, when my cousin used to bully me. My father did not teach me how to fight back. He rather installed a doorlock to our room. He told me to run to our room and lock the door everytime my first cousin steps inside our vicinity. I did what my father told me to do. But one unlucky day I received a bloody blow on my forehead from my first cousin. I was tempted then to avenge myself but my mother stopped me as she put some medicine on my forehead. When my father knew about this, I thought he would teach me how to fight. But he did not. I just saw him reprimanding my cousin severely who caused me a scar on my forehead. I could remember how my father protected me.
When I went back to the seminary, I brought with me the image of my father as a protector. I bear with me this image since then and until now as a priest. For me, I exist as a priest. I exist to bring meaning to the existence of others by being a father who protects helpless people. I protect those who come to me helpless just like my father who protected me from harm. My actual life is my answer on the questions of my existence and essence.
My dear friends, particularly to those fathers who are here today as we celebrate the Fathers' Day, kindly reflect on these:
1. Do you think you exist in the life of your children?
2. Does your existence bring meaning to the life of your children? How are you as a father to them?
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