Shainie and Wilfredo's Nuptial

One of the great saints, St. Thomas Aquinas defined love as an act of the will and not merely a feeling. For him, love is to will the good of the other.

Shainie and Wilfredo, when we say will, we can easily connect it with the word power. In our ordinary life experience, we say there is power when we talk of gadgets or technologies which work referring to it as “gumagana”. If we check things out that do not work, we say “bakit ayaw gumana or bakit hindi gumagana.”

Will then as a power to love is what it takes to make a relationship works. However, you have to understand that no one can see your will because it is something that is inside you; it is in your “kalooban”. So no one is interested to see your “kalooban” except for those who love you. Yet, everyone is eager to know the secret why a relationship works –“paano gumagana ang isang relasyon”. The answer for this is simple: If there is a will, there is a way.

But love is not just about willpower. It has to set a direction. Why do we charge our cellular phone? Would it be enough to see it fully charged and could turn its power on? The purpose of loving is not about finding oneself feeling happy with the other. Rather, it seeks the good of the other. Ano bang mabuting gawin ko para sa kanya? Paano ko siya mapapabuti? Paano ba siya maging mabuting tao? Lacking in this good intention, any relationship fails to build itself on true love. True love always makes a couple better.  

Now, in the definition of love, the direction is pointing toward the other, and not to oneself. This does not mean that one does not need to love himself/herself. Rather, how one loves himself/herself shall also be how he/she has to love the other. Shainie, love Wilfredo as you love yourself. Wilfredo, love Shainie as you love yourself. However, as you are going to get married today, you have to get an unlimited source of love which you cannot find in yourself. Human as you are, you have limits in loving. Thus, human love cannot be able to handle the demands and challenges of married life. There is a need to look for the source of love which can sustain the both of you. The answer can be found in the Gospel of John 13:34 which states, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Shainie and Wilfredo, if you want to remain in love as a married couple, you have to call on God. You have to pray together. You pray for your spouse. If you cannot pray together, then what is the use of getting married in this church. The church is a place for you to ask God for his blessings and not a mere venue for a ritual. You are here to pray. You start your married life with a prayer, you can only stay in marriage until death when you pray together.

Shainie and Wilfredo, love is to will the good of the other. There is no greater good than to be blessed by God. Pray for each other. Pray together. Love each other till the end of your time. Amen.